Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
