I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I love having hate sex.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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