the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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