You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
