Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize