I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
