There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
