how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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