Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize