I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
This house was built for laser tag.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
