i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
