i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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