girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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