In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize