I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
