my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
