I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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