Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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