I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
