DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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