Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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