help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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