last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
