I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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