tell your sister to shave her snatch
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
