btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
