I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Slut skills are useful in every country.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
