thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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