It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
