Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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