My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
