I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My bed is full of blood and feathers
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
