If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
