I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
