She went from zero to smokin in five shots
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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