This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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