oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
