so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
