What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
