8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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