I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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