apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
