he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
