i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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