I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
