I'm laying in your front yard are you home
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize