But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
