Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
