how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Randomize
