it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I didn't notice because vodka
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Randomize
