he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize