KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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