Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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