I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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