Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
