he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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