I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
