half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
