Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
