STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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