I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
